Is Your Partner is Testing You?

Are You Having Some Trust Issues?

When two people enter into a relationship, they take time to understand each other. With time comes understanding, and with understanding comes reliability on, and appreciation of each other. You know you can trust your other half, fully count on them, and also do anything to show you cherish the relationship. Sustaining trust is of utmost importance, and failing to do so can ruin your relationship in an instant.

Here are the 6 Signs that your partner is testing you:

The Gentleman Test

Part of being a gentleman is making sure that your partner is comfortable. “A confident man has no issues acting like a movie star of old,” says Survivorman’s Les Stroud. “Opening doors, pulling out the chair at a restaurant, bringing her flowers, and never walking in front of her—I hate when I see that.” A lot of men look for a woman who will let them take care of her, and even spoil her a bit. It makes a man feel good to do this. Not all women are comfortable with a man taking control, but consider that this is sometimes a test men have to see if you are open enough to let them take care of you on occasion.

The Gas Light Test

According to Adrienne Janic, the host of Overhaulin’, one of her dad’s greatest pieces of advice on finding a good man was to rely on The Gas Light Test. “My dad would say whenever you get in the car, check his gas tank. If it is more than half full, then this is a good guy. He took the time to fill up the car with gas, and he can afford to take you out. But if the guy has less than half a tank, forget it, because if he can’t afford to gas up the car, then don’t even bother.” A lot of women also mention a clean car being an important test that a guy must pass.

Model Caitlin O’Connor has a very common belief when it comes to who should pay on a first date. “Even if a girl asks you out, you still have to offer to pay the bill at the end of dinner. Just man up that first time—it makes you look like a gentleman.” A lot of women I’ve spoken to over the years say they use The Purse Dip Test. This involves reaching into their purse at the end of date to see if a guy offers to pay. Most women agreed that it was gentlemanly for a man to tell her that he’s got it, and to pay the bill without hesitation. The only time he should consider splitting the check is if his date is adamant about paying for half, and then it is polite to agree and move on without making a big deal about it.

The Strong Personality Test

Strong personalities can scare some people away or attract others. “There are certain women who have their own rules,” says Marni Kinrys, the dating expert behind The Wing Girl Method. “But the main thing is to own who you are so that you can make sure you get what you want in a partner. If you happen to clash on certain rules, it can be a great thing, because then it is something to tease her about.” Some strong personalities like to see if you can handle them by challenging you. A strong woman, for example, may have very high standards, and test a man by exerting her personality aggressively to see if he has the confidence to dish it back in a fun (and teasing) way.

The Vulnerability Test

There are many men and women who prey on a partner with (too much) kindness, and they do that because the have control and trust issues. “When a man loses his job—he feels emasculated,” says Dr. Carole Lieberman, the author of Bad Girls. “If a bad girl comes along, recognizing his vulnerability, all she has to do is make him feel like a stud, and he will fall head-over-heels, losing savings, self-respect and sanity.” The point is that some partners will use excessive (unnecessary) kindness to seek out your vulnerabilities. In time, their kindness will eventually fall to harsh criticism in an attempt to keep you under their control. We all like to feel good, and when someone who normally makes you feel good suddenly hurts you, it is more likely that you will bend your values to make them happy again, so that you can feel good about yourself again . Don’t fall victim to these people.

The Dance Date Test

Sharna Burgess of Dancing With the Stars believes that there is nothing more sexy than a man (or woman) who can dance. “I think as a female, whether you are a dancer or not, dance is certainly an attractive quality,” says Burgess. “It insinuates that a man or woman would always know how to use their body.” So when a woman asks a man to take her dancing, he may be hesitant as he knows that he will be graded based on his performance. But dancing is more about confidence, than actual technique. However, it doesn’t hurt to take a few lessons no matter who you are.