It is important to have lots of rewarding relationships and to know a good range of different types of people. However the key here is quality rather than quantity, and there are some relationships that are more detrimental than they are positive. A love relationship you see should build your confidence and your happiness, should be a two way street, and should be mutually beneficial for both parties. This is far from always being the case however and you will find that some people in life are just leaches – vampires – that will take more than they give and bring you down emotionally.
There may be gremlins and energy vampires hiding in your electrical devices—but these are never as devastating as the ones hiding in your relationships. And while these types of vampires may not drain your body of its life-giving fluids, their goal is nevertheless the same: To feed off of your good nature for their own benefit, no matter who (most likely you) gets hurt in the process. They will suck your time, energy and happiness. But unlike the film versions which can be discovered using a mirror and garlic, a relationship vampire may not be as easy to recognize. In fact, these are the five telltale signs that one may have already latched onto you.
Your Fight More Than You Love
There are a lot of reasons why couples fight, but when your relationship can be described as a drama more than a love story, there is likely some manipulation at play. Relationship vampires create a wave of turmoil every time they want something, and then release you from their tyranny as soon as they get it. Rather than garlic, your best protective charm is to see these people for who they are—children. And how would you deal with a child who is engaged in a temper tantrum? You would tell them calmly and firmly to settle down. And if they refused? You would remove yourself from the situation and wait until they are ready to talk like a grownup. Don’t give into a relationship vampire’s tantrums. If you do, you will only be encouraging them to do it more often.
Do you walk around feeling tired and unmotivated? If you’ve ruled out a medical condition, the culprit is likely your vampire love and the parasitic relationship you have with them. They’re a parasite because they take everything from their partner and leave them nothing in return. These partners will help themselves to your best efforts, ideas, love, romance, support, money and food, but they will never replenish what they take—leaving you constantly drained and empty inside.
You Play the Role of the Victim
If you have seen one vampire/horror film, you have pretty much seen them all. They always involve people doing the exact opposite of what you keep telling yourself you would never do if you were in their shoes. But unfortunately in real life we don’t always follow our own best intuition. Most relationship vampires seek out people who are really good at playing the victim. If you have never told your partner about your own values and boundaries, then you have either found your perfect soulmate or are too afraid to put your own needs first for a change. You can’t expect to avoid relationship vampires if you are too afraid to stand up to them and tell them what you want. If you play the part of the confident and self-assured hero, you will most certainly avoid the worst of these monsters.
You Have Self-Esteem Issues
The majority of us are hard enough on ourselves. Things can get really bad if you have a partner who is always waiting in line behind your self-criticism to criticize you even more. Relationship vampires like to leave you weak and defenseless so it will be much easier to take what they want the next time. But a worthy partner is someone who you are drawn to because they make you feel confident and happy. A relationship vampire is someone who makes you feel small, afraid and incapable.
Your Support Group is Dwindling
There truly is strength in numbers, so you should never offer anyone so much of yourself that is isolates you from the people who care most about you. And do pay attention to what other people are saying about your partner. It may be hard to hear and you may not like what they have to say, but they’re basically whispering a warning to you, the unsuspecting victim, and that warning is “Don’t open that door.”